Overcoming Anxiety
Anxiety. Just the word seems to create a twist in your gut…
…a tightening, a feeling that just somehow brings a trickle of fear. Anxiety truly is a complicated spiral-it can start with something simple that plants just a small seed and then can twist and turn, gaining momentum until it becomes a snowball rolling down a hill. It is real. It can interrupt your life. It can be paralyzing.
Because anxiety is a complicated process with a very wide range, it can simply start as a fragmented thought that just won’t stay on the course you want it to, and then for no explainable reason, it can become as complex as becoming a debilitating fear that you just can’t overcome.
Just like any unpredictable activity that you have to take control of, what if you could use 3 basic questions to center yourself, to ground yourself and combat this mental state that just doesn’t want to be contained?
Is this something I can walk away from?
What causes your anxiety? Maybe it is a new hobby that you thought you would love but you don’t, or maybe it is related to your child’s illness or instability at school. Obviously the first one you can walk away from and choose to take a different path, come up with a new plan….don’t lay in this one. However, in the second one, you would never walk away from this issue because you are invested and have deep love for the person that is affected by this situation that is causing you this fear, this anger and this frustration, so you can benefit by moving on to the next question.
What can I control about this situation?
So, this one takes a little work…take a deep breath. Do your research. Reach out for help. Get your support system behind you. Make the calls. Take the visits. Journal it all. Also, move on to the third question…I promise, answering this one is the most important step you can take.
What is my WHY for facing this?
WHY am I facing this? Maybe it is because someone I love is needing an advocate or maybe because my health depends on it. It could also be because you’ve worked too hard to let this one go, pushed through so many barriers that there’s no way to turn back now. Figure out your WHY and let your heart get involved. Tell yourself that you WILL OVERCOME and make sure you reel those fears in when they surface because your WHY is much bigger. Tell yourself and then believe it.
Think of it like choosing to put your energy into what you CAN do, not what is out of your control. If you choose to chase a snowball down the hill you are running yourself into a snowbank, but if you choose to release it and grab hold of that hand that needs you, that hand that wants to help you, you will stay grounded, in control.
Holding on or letting go is the first choice, and overcoming is the END RESULT. I guess the serenity prayer really does give us immense wisdom to live by….a simple prayer to help us accept what we cannot change, to have the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference. I think much anxiety is escalated by our desire to change what is ultimately and simply just out of our control.
- Cheri Kimbel
